It Won’t Always Be Like This

I need to write. I need to write so I can remember. The details. The faces. The opportunities. The struggles. The wins. The mistakes. The drive. The loss of motivation.The energy. The reminders along the way to keep at it and the people on my side as I listen to the plans God slowly reveals to me.


Family Business

As of current, I’m managing a small casino-related business recently handed over to me by my Dad, acting as my first quarter examinations, after studying and practicing for it for almost six months under my boss and mentor’s guidance.

You see, I’m not fond of the casino gaming industry and what it offers. I’ve always felt an apprehension towards it that doesn’t even make me curious about anything related to it, which is a huge deal because I’m curious about EVERYTHING.

The challenge is for me to boost sales in 3 months and if I succeed in doing so, I can hire someone to manage its day to day operations and I can level up by just overseeing it while I start managing a couple of dessert-related franchises.

Unlike my previous suggestion that entails me switching businesses, instead he tells me that I should learn to level up by adding businesses to my plate – not switching from one to the other. Which I understand but is a bit of a stretch for me. I’m overwhelmed to say the least.


 On the film circuit, my recently revived extrovert self has been seeing opportunities left and right and has been subtly promoting herself and offering her services through casual comments and inquiries where I can “shoot for practice”. Resulting in a number of exploratory collaborations and opportunities that I did not see piling up until I laid everything out in the calendar.

I have to come up with a director’s reel and a producer’s reel from my time with Seabiscuit Films (wondering if they’d give me copies of the shoots I produced).

I have been inconsistent with my 52-week video project as of late because although shooting was never an issue, I have an editing backlog that could consume an entire week, and that’s only if I really sit down and zone in.

But there’s no denying that my creativity kicked up a notch and I’m overflowing with ideas with not enough time to execute them.

Personal Business Venture

I’ve always kept it in my timeline to eventually develop a business model for both manufacturing and selling local tea and local healthy snacks. But since I don’t have the expertise nor the time to really brainstorm and study this, it’s always been kept in the back of my head.

Based on my Rebel tendencies (difficulty following internal and external expectations) as indicated in the book Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, I will suck at this if I rely on myself. I need someone to be accountable to and people to do it with.

Lately, I’ve had friends who were willing to help me out learn and experiment with it. In addition, a couple of weeks ago, friends of mine who pitched me a producer position for a film production company before I started with my family business, offered me the same position under a different umbrella. They’re going to distribute a product here in Manila and they want me to help out as an over-all producer for social media, video, content, branding and anything marketing-related. This time around, it’s related to my field of curiosity in developing and distributing local products.

Church Community

I’ve been kept from attending weekly bible studies, which I’ve been incredibly active in for the past year and a half now, because of work. But lately, the opportunity to minister to a downline and learn from my upline has been consistent and all that’s left is for me to commit and show up, do the work and find a schedule.


It’s always been a dire need for me to keep in touch and keep a lot of friends, I don’t seem to understand the meaning of few. The way I’ve always seen it is that – if I can, then I will. It’s hard for me to say no or miss out just because I need to work on something for myself– which is ruining me as of the moment.

At the same time, I always enjoy meeting new people. So it’s always a balance between making sure I don’t neglect the existing friends I have and making sure that I turn my acquaintances into friends.

Especially that I now love meeting people with a completely different point of view, opinion or interest, it widens the pool of people I want to get to know and be friends with.


I’ve been single for about a year now and I’ve hit that sweet spot of just not giving a fuck. This is the last thing on my mind right now and it’s such a relief and a break to not fuss about it despite the growing number of new relationships, engagements and weddings in my circle of friends.

To be frank, it’s a point of concern for me lately that I’m not attracted to anyone because I usually always do at some level. But this is a very interesting point of view to be in, being the one who cared less was never a persona I’ve comfortably tried on but this time around, I can’t seem to even change it even if I wanted to.

Bit scary if you ask me, I kind of miss a bit of the drama and the feelings that go along with it. I’ve kept proclaiming I was a robot and I might actually be turning into one. To note, a lot of my guy friends have been telling me how much of a guy I am lately or how much I think like a guy when it comes to relationships or dating. I have no idea whether or not to be flattered or concerned.


I’ll save other aspects of my life for later.

Overall, I’m incredibly grateful and again overwhelmed with the amount of trust He’s been giving me to handle all these opportunities. It’s such a stark contrast to the hellhole I felt I was in for the last 6 months which was a huge adjustment period. I’m secretly hoping not everything falls into place, but I’m also excited by the idea of pulling it off if it all does. It’s going to be an exciting year.

I know I’m not Supergirl. I know that. But my day seems to always revolve around the question “how much can I pack in, learn, experience and accomplish in one day?



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