Lately, I’ve been on a search. A search for truth, clarity, and purpose. Cross-referencing books on history, religion, culture, business, society and existence as a whole.
It feels as if I’m studying and reviewing for a final exam on life.
Maybe it’s because I’m turning 25 this year. Maybe it’s because I find myself coasting along life with vague understandings of how everything works. Maybe it’s because I ponder too much. Maybe I’m obsessed with finding out my whys.
Then again, when am I not?
I’ve always been told to slow down and sometimes just stop. Stop thinking too much, stop analyzing everything, stop putting the puzzle pieces together, stop finding the meaning and the lessons behind life events.
Really? Are you serious?
I can’t do that. I won’t do that.
How can I not want to know why I exist?
How can I not know my reason for living?
How can I not ask all the questions I was too scared to even think about?
How can I not want to understand why things happen?
How can I not want to know the real difference between what’s right and wrong?
How can I not figure out what I was designed for?
How can I not want to verify if the “truth” we are being taught?
We normally let things happen and uncover on their own, trusting that everything will fall into place eventually. While I do believe that, I don’t think it means to simply resign and live passively. Avoiding one extreme doesn’t necessarily pit it against the other.
The trouble is, there really are too many questions to answer. More than lifetime’s worth.
The key is to discern and know the questions that are essential right now and then strive to find the answers.
Wisdom forcefully reveals black and white truths that we’re too scared or ashamed to face, so by default we choose blissful ignorance instead, not knowing that this painfully hurts us in the long run.
It can be a long and arduous process but I promise that you will be better for it.
Why? Because the truth really does set you free.
It sets you free from disillusionment. It removes deep fear, worry or doubt. It removes all the fog from your view. It strips everything down to the essentials. It rids you of shallow and unnecessary relationships. It narrows down your path. And best of all, it gives you the freedom to focus, to choose, to rightfully live.
So tell me, how can I not?